Not a Mooch.

27th December 2011

Post with 69 notes

Not a Mooch.

Lately, I’ve noticed that I possess just about every negative quality there is. Frankly, this observation was starting to bum me out. I can’t even talk shit properly because I’m always thinking Well, I’m like that too.

But then last night I was watching Tiny Furniture (awesome movie). There’s this dude in it who’s a classic leech. An asker. Just one of those people who baldly solicits food, things, time— and then has the gall to bitch about the quality or quantity thereof. One of those people who just asks: naked, prideless, with that dumb unblinking gaze of the rarely denied. You know what I mean by that look?

I realized joyfully: I’m not a mooch! This is one shitty quality I don’t have! I never ask for anything. I have to be approaching full renal failure before I’ll request a glass of water. I’ll soil myself before I’ll use your bathroom. I will never, ever ask you to drive me somewhere. If you do offer me something, I’ll react as though you gave me your bone marrow. And I NEVER ask for the dreaded “industry favor.” I frequently buy things I could get for free if I was willing to make a casual phone call. Never. Shame. Schaden.

I don’t know if this is a wholly positive quality, but I feel good about it today.

Honest to Blr

Not a Mooch.